mika says:
"so human as i am
i had to give up my defenses"
| say
so human as i am
i had to put on my defenses
ball of semen number 1:
i am waiting for you
your strenth
the smell of used underware
the smell of no underware
your manly flesh against my jelly flesh
the smell of your yellowish mouth
your semi liquid saliva drying on my disgusted skin
ball of semen number 2:
your quest for the aesthetic
(johnny quest)
the visual
the detail
the beautiful
the artistic
the genius
the seductive
all of the above
concentrated in one breath
in a pair of legs
in the way SHE moves
and talks
and i am not a she
i am not a woman
then there were balls full of semen numbers 3 and 4 and 5 and 6 and 7 and
but first there was my first MENstruation
my body telling me it was ready
the explosion of my first cell
and the flows of red fluid it brought with it
on my thighs
on my pants and jacket
on the desk at school
it payed me the initiating visit at nine
it found me unworthy of the explosion
it did not like me
and did not come back for years
i longed and waited and hoped
i was too green to be red
and too green not to yearn for the red
and the red came back
and the red mocked at me
for the red still did not find me worthy
the red did not think i was a woman
the red took me for a mock-woman
and a mock-woman i became
the red still visits me
and paints my insides and my outsides red
but my body is an offense to womanhood
and unnerved by my body,
the red feminine goddess unnerves me
and takes her revenge on me
"they might touch your brain
they might kiss your thoughts
and enjoy your words
but your body they will never want
be they brothers or sisters"
the cold curse of the goddess who did not find me worty at nine
who still does not find me worthy
dimanche 25 avril 2010
samedi 10 avril 2010
Despre cainii comunitari - un mare citat
Fac ceva ce nu as face de obicei: folosesc cuvintele cuiva fara acordul persoanei in chestiune. O fac insa pentru ca mi se pare ca in cateva cuvinte sintetizeaza cauza marii probleme a cainilor de pe strada. Aceste cuvinte vin din partea cuiva care stie legislatia in domeniu mai bine decat cei care sunt platiti ca o aplice, doamna Maria Beck:
"Problema cainilor fara stapan a ajuns un fenomen deoarece toti acesti ingrijorati de soarta cetatenilor nu au facut nimic 20 de ani pentru a stopa abandonul din proprietate privata si s-au marginit la a face promisiuni fara acoperire in perioadele de alegeri. luarea masurilor pompieristice impotriva efectului, respectiv a animalelor aflate deja pe strazi este o hotie fara margini, care le=-a permis ca la nivel de tara, din 2001 si pana in prezent sa se fure milioane de EU. Cum? Simplu ! Se iau dinstrada 10 caini, se omoara cu ranga in cap, se raporteaza eutanasierea ( care costa mai mult decat o castrare) a 100 de caini (nimeni nu poate sa-i controleze) si se face decont pentru 100 de caini. tinand cont ca nici cei 10 prinsi in mod real nu au fost eutanasiati, ci ucisi, banii solicitati manopera de eutanasiere a 100 de caini., sunt bani de buzunar ai baietilor destepti care au descoperit cum sa faca bani si de pe coada cainilor. in cardasie cu protanul dau spre distrugere 10 cadavre, protanul semneaza pt.100 si au si baietii protanisti bani de buzunar. in acest timp abandonul din proprietate privata, impotriva caruia nu s-au luat nici-un fel de masuri, pentru a nu ramane fara materie prima, alimenteaza strazile cu exemplare nedorite, pui si chiar si adulti, pana in anul 3000 dupa Christos. autoritatile inflameaza prin declaratii alarmante populatia, indemnand la acte de cruzime contra bietilor caini, care nu au nici-o vina ca au fost aruncati fara mila pe strazi, publica fel de fel de statistici cu nnumarul din ce in ce mai mare de oameni muscati de caini, asigurandu-si in acest fel, o sursa de bani inepuizabila in vecii vecilor Amin. si prostii de romani, fac spume la gura contra cainilor fara stapan, candva caninele era cel mai bun prieten al omului, intre timp, ca asa e in Romania, totul e altfel decat in restul lumii, a devenit cel mai mare dusman al omului, si zbiara cat ii tin puterile impotriva acestora, facilitand astfel furtul banilor publici, bani realizati chiar din taxele si impozitele platite de cei prostiti. Avem ce meritam. Sa ne traiasca cainii fara stapan, romani de bine, care nu mai aveti probleme inafara de cea a cainilor fara stapan, ajutati autoritatile sa fure in continuare banii, numai la bucuresti s-au cheltuit aprox. 15 mil.de EU din 2001 pana acum . la mai mare! ca mare e prostia omeneasca!"
No comment
"Problema cainilor fara stapan a ajuns un fenomen deoarece toti acesti ingrijorati de soarta cetatenilor nu au facut nimic 20 de ani pentru a stopa abandonul din proprietate privata si s-au marginit la a face promisiuni fara acoperire in perioadele de alegeri. luarea masurilor pompieristice impotriva efectului, respectiv a animalelor aflate deja pe strazi este o hotie fara margini, care le=-a permis ca la nivel de tara, din 2001 si pana in prezent sa se fure milioane de EU. Cum? Simplu ! Se iau dinstrada 10 caini, se omoara cu ranga in cap, se raporteaza eutanasierea ( care costa mai mult decat o castrare) a 100 de caini (nimeni nu poate sa-i controleze) si se face decont pentru 100 de caini. tinand cont ca nici cei 10 prinsi in mod real nu au fost eutanasiati, ci ucisi, banii solicitati manopera de eutanasiere a 100 de caini., sunt bani de buzunar ai baietilor destepti care au descoperit cum sa faca bani si de pe coada cainilor. in cardasie cu protanul dau spre distrugere 10 cadavre, protanul semneaza pt.100 si au si baietii protanisti bani de buzunar. in acest timp abandonul din proprietate privata, impotriva caruia nu s-au luat nici-un fel de masuri, pentru a nu ramane fara materie prima, alimenteaza strazile cu exemplare nedorite, pui si chiar si adulti, pana in anul 3000 dupa Christos. autoritatile inflameaza prin declaratii alarmante populatia, indemnand la acte de cruzime contra bietilor caini, care nu au nici-o vina ca au fost aruncati fara mila pe strazi, publica fel de fel de statistici cu nnumarul din ce in ce mai mare de oameni muscati de caini, asigurandu-si in acest fel, o sursa de bani inepuizabila in vecii vecilor Amin. si prostii de romani, fac spume la gura contra cainilor fara stapan, candva caninele era cel mai bun prieten al omului, intre timp, ca asa e in Romania, totul e altfel decat in restul lumii, a devenit cel mai mare dusman al omului, si zbiara cat ii tin puterile impotriva acestora, facilitand astfel furtul banilor publici, bani realizati chiar din taxele si impozitele platite de cei prostiti. Avem ce meritam. Sa ne traiasca cainii fara stapan, romani de bine, care nu mai aveti probleme inafara de cea a cainilor fara stapan, ajutati autoritatile sa fure in continuare banii, numai la bucuresti s-au cheltuit aprox. 15 mil.de EU din 2001 pana acum . la mai mare! ca mare e prostia omeneasca!"
No comment
mardi 6 avril 2010
five or six or seven o'clock in the morning
It has always been me not you
And now it is a little about you
My brain moves my body
And keeps its balance
There would not be a thing for my brain to control
If I did not have a body
I stuff my doby doby body with tabaco
As it screams “No more, no more”
Hush lungs, hush body
The brain wants it
And the brain wants your company
And my body will not be touched
As I walk by the bus and the people
And you are not one of the people
But everyone else is part of the people
I walk slowly like a mad woman
I smile like a woman
I smile not like a girl
The girl who manufactured gods
And wanted them so badly
It was not them I wanted but me
I wanted me
I do not have me
I remain suspended between people who will not have me
I only look at people who will not have me
The people who want me are not people
Though they are among the people
They are puppets, puppets I pity and love
But puppets will not carry me
And people will not have me
And the people among people are not really people
A true god would never touch me
I would never want a true god to touch me
For he may become a puppet, infected with my need
But you I want as my audience
You I want as my spectator
I want to be your spectator
Give me one of your mornings
Give me a blanket at six o’clock in the morning
Listen to my words and be silent
Listen to my words and understand some of them
And love the ones you do not understand
My fingers are stained
Slowly I come back to life
To the life called life
To the life I call a must
Slowly six o’clock in the morning fades away
And I go with it
I vanish from myself like a vision
I whisper “Stay, stay” but I am afraid
Of the people among the people
I am afraid of your absence
I am so afraid of my absence
Do not leave
Do not leave
A big red nose
Swallen lips
Eyes made of glass
A repulsive face
This is what I will show you at six o clock in the morning
I will tell you words and I will not be ashamed
For a minute or two I will not apologize
For a minute or so I will not entertain anyone but me
And you will be in awe with me
And I will be in awe with me
And with you
And you will not know what to say
But I will know what to say
I will not need your touch
For my words and you will run against a touch
Then the big silence of coal will follow
I will smell it
It will leave me empty and useless
I will want to sleep but my brain will refuse
My stomach will ask for tomatoes
But my brain will have none of it
I did not become a woman when you penetrated me
I did not become a woman when my breasts started to show
I did not become a woman when I should have become a woman
I am a late, a late woman
The only woman I can be
After the girl, the girl that I wasted away
The girl that I used to feed the swine with
The girl that gave her flesh and muscles and bones to my father who would not have them
To a boy who would not have them
To another boy who would not have them
To my mother who would not have them
To my grandfather who would not have them
To my grandmother, but by this time my flesh and muscles and bone were starting to rot
So my grandmother died
So I ran and ran to find a host for my flesh and muscles and bones
The harder I ran the stronger the stench was
I still have them, my flesh and my muscles and my bones
I would give them to you
But they smell
So this morning this morning at six or seven a clock
I tried to cut myself open, in the toilets
And stuff myself with my flesh and muscles and bones
They almost fit in and I said
Now I am a woman
Now I am whole
Now I am a whore
I am a whole woman
A whole rotten woman
A whore is better than a girl
A dead whore is better than a whore
And now it is a little about you
My brain moves my body
And keeps its balance
There would not be a thing for my brain to control
If I did not have a body
I stuff my doby doby body with tabaco
As it screams “No more, no more”
Hush lungs, hush body
The brain wants it
And the brain wants your company
And my body will not be touched
As I walk by the bus and the people
And you are not one of the people
But everyone else is part of the people
I walk slowly like a mad woman
I smile like a woman
I smile not like a girl
The girl who manufactured gods
And wanted them so badly
It was not them I wanted but me
I wanted me
I do not have me
I remain suspended between people who will not have me
I only look at people who will not have me
The people who want me are not people
Though they are among the people
They are puppets, puppets I pity and love
But puppets will not carry me
And people will not have me
And the people among people are not really people
A true god would never touch me
I would never want a true god to touch me
For he may become a puppet, infected with my need
But you I want as my audience
You I want as my spectator
I want to be your spectator
Give me one of your mornings
Give me a blanket at six o’clock in the morning
Listen to my words and be silent
Listen to my words and understand some of them
And love the ones you do not understand
My fingers are stained
Slowly I come back to life
To the life called life
To the life I call a must
Slowly six o’clock in the morning fades away
And I go with it
I vanish from myself like a vision
I whisper “Stay, stay” but I am afraid
Of the people among the people
I am afraid of your absence
I am so afraid of my absence
Do not leave
Do not leave
A big red nose
Swallen lips
Eyes made of glass
A repulsive face
This is what I will show you at six o clock in the morning
I will tell you words and I will not be ashamed
For a minute or two I will not apologize
For a minute or so I will not entertain anyone but me
And you will be in awe with me
And I will be in awe with me
And with you
And you will not know what to say
But I will know what to say
I will not need your touch
For my words and you will run against a touch
Then the big silence of coal will follow
I will smell it
It will leave me empty and useless
I will want to sleep but my brain will refuse
My stomach will ask for tomatoes
But my brain will have none of it
I did not become a woman when you penetrated me
I did not become a woman when my breasts started to show
I did not become a woman when I should have become a woman
I am a late, a late woman
The only woman I can be
After the girl, the girl that I wasted away
The girl that I used to feed the swine with
The girl that gave her flesh and muscles and bones to my father who would not have them
To a boy who would not have them
To another boy who would not have them
To my mother who would not have them
To my grandfather who would not have them
To my grandmother, but by this time my flesh and muscles and bone were starting to rot
So my grandmother died
So I ran and ran to find a host for my flesh and muscles and bones
The harder I ran the stronger the stench was
I still have them, my flesh and my muscles and my bones
I would give them to you
But they smell
So this morning this morning at six or seven a clock
I tried to cut myself open, in the toilets
And stuff myself with my flesh and muscles and bones
They almost fit in and I said
Now I am a woman
Now I am whole
Now I am a whore
I am a whole woman
A whole rotten woman
A whore is better than a girl
A dead whore is better than a whore
Coloana
*inspirat dintr-un caz real
- vezi ca ti-am scos coloana
- unde ai pus-o?
- dupa dulap
- dar azi trebuie sa ies
- descurca-te
- de ce mi-ai scos-o chiar azi, stii ca nu pot pleca fara ea
- nu e problema mea
- nu pot sta in picioare fara ea
- ia-ti-o
- dar daca mi-o iau singura tu o sa mai te ocupi de ea
- sigur ca nu
- ....
- nu am timp de asta acum. hai pa
raman pe pat, nu pot sa ma ridic pentru ca mi-a scos coloana. as vrea sa ajung la ea dar nu reusesc sa stau dreapta. stau asa comod fara ea, daca as putea sa stau, sa stau, sa dorm, sa stau. dar trebuie sa ma ridic si nu pot pleca fara ea
- claudia, imi dai te rog coloana?
- unde-i?
- dupa dulap.
- eu n-o vad.
- acolo trebuie sa fie
- amalia!!!!
- bine, du-te.
ce bine e aici, ce bine e fara coloana. dar trebuie sa ma ridic. si eu rad fara ea, si spatele meu plange fara ea. doar azi, doar azi as vrea sa o las unde e...si daca as ajunge la ea...
intinde-te, stii ca ajungi. nu vreau sa ajung, e atat de bine aici.
- Claudia!!!!!!
- ce vrei iar?
- te mai uiti te rog o data dupa ea?
- e in spate, imi pare rau nu ajung la ea
- nici cu matura?
- unde e matura?
- ?????
- intarzii la lucru
- bine, merci, scuze
ajung si singura la ea. dar daca o iau eu, el nu o sa o mai vrea. si o sa raman cu un spate teapan, el nu o sa mai imi scoata coloana. eu sau el. eu sau el. eu sau el. el sau coloana, eu sau coloana, coloana sau patul, eu si patul, eu si el, noi si patul. patul si dulapul, coloana de dupa dulap....
nu pot sa mi-o iau, nu stiu cum, e departe si eu sunt moale si nu reusesc sa ma intind. e asa de bine moale, ma afund in pat, sunt mai moale decat salteaua, sunt mai moale ca patul, sunt mai nemiscata ca patul, sunt mai moarta ca patul. adorm
- uite-ti coloana
- multumesc. dar nu aveam chef de ea chiar acum
- nu ziceai ca trebuie sa pleci?
- nu am mai plecat, nu am putut ajunge la coloana.
- o vrei?
- mai tarziu.
- mai tarziu o iei singura. nu stau toata ziua dupa tine.
- dar daca o iau eu, o sa mai te ocupi tu de ea?
- nope.
- vezi ca ti-am scos coloana
- unde ai pus-o?
- dupa dulap
- dar azi trebuie sa ies
- descurca-te
- de ce mi-ai scos-o chiar azi, stii ca nu pot pleca fara ea
- nu e problema mea
- nu pot sta in picioare fara ea
- ia-ti-o
- dar daca mi-o iau singura tu o sa mai te ocupi de ea
- sigur ca nu
- ....
- nu am timp de asta acum. hai pa
raman pe pat, nu pot sa ma ridic pentru ca mi-a scos coloana. as vrea sa ajung la ea dar nu reusesc sa stau dreapta. stau asa comod fara ea, daca as putea sa stau, sa stau, sa dorm, sa stau. dar trebuie sa ma ridic si nu pot pleca fara ea
- claudia, imi dai te rog coloana?
- unde-i?
- dupa dulap.
- eu n-o vad.
- acolo trebuie sa fie
- amalia!!!!
- bine, du-te.
ce bine e aici, ce bine e fara coloana. dar trebuie sa ma ridic. si eu rad fara ea, si spatele meu plange fara ea. doar azi, doar azi as vrea sa o las unde e...si daca as ajunge la ea...
intinde-te, stii ca ajungi. nu vreau sa ajung, e atat de bine aici.
- Claudia!!!!!!
- ce vrei iar?
- te mai uiti te rog o data dupa ea?
- e in spate, imi pare rau nu ajung la ea
- nici cu matura?
- unde e matura?
- ?????
- intarzii la lucru
- bine, merci, scuze
ajung si singura la ea. dar daca o iau eu, el nu o sa o mai vrea. si o sa raman cu un spate teapan, el nu o sa mai imi scoata coloana. eu sau el. eu sau el. eu sau el. el sau coloana, eu sau coloana, coloana sau patul, eu si patul, eu si el, noi si patul. patul si dulapul, coloana de dupa dulap....
nu pot sa mi-o iau, nu stiu cum, e departe si eu sunt moale si nu reusesc sa ma intind. e asa de bine moale, ma afund in pat, sunt mai moale decat salteaua, sunt mai moale ca patul, sunt mai nemiscata ca patul, sunt mai moarta ca patul. adorm
- uite-ti coloana
- multumesc. dar nu aveam chef de ea chiar acum
- nu ziceai ca trebuie sa pleci?
- nu am mai plecat, nu am putut ajunge la coloana.
- o vrei?
- mai tarziu.
- mai tarziu o iei singura. nu stau toata ziua dupa tine.
- dar daca o iau eu, o sa mai te ocupi tu de ea?
- nope.
vendredi 2 avril 2010
fake fake smile
dar toti mintim
eu ma ascund dupa mine
scot nasul de dupa colt si ma rog ca omul mascat sa nu ma vada
transpir
nu ma pot concentra
imi vine in minte un cantec
imi musc buzele asa tare l-as canta
dar omul mascat de dupa colt...
are vesta neagra
as fugi dar mi-e lene
as pleca de acolo dar nu ma lasa picioarele
m-as intinde
as vrea sa nu traiesc putin
o saptamana de moarte clinica
o zi macar
o ora macar
si nu am voie sa tip
nici sa imi fie frig
nu am voie sa nu stau dreapta
nu am voie sa imi rod unghiile
nu am voie sa nu fiu normala
nu am voie sa privesc in gol sau sa vorbesc singura
ei de uita la mine de sus
si eu ma uit cu jumatate de ochi dupa colt
e inca acolo
nu o sa ma impuste
dar nici nu o sa ma lase sa plec
trebuie sa platesc
imi vrea jumatate din carne
vrea sa muste din mine
eu as vrea sa raman in mine
intreaga
neatinsa
fina si brutala
nu mai cred in mine ochii de la etaj
dar pe omul cu arma incep sa il excit
si eu nu mai vreau sa fiu privita de sus si nu mai vreau sa privesc dupa colt
ies de aici o secunda
si revin mai invinsa decat am plecat
P.S.
sheryl crow says:
"and her mama believed
every man could be free
so her mama got high high high"
not my mother
but the mother of the child i will never have
eu ma ascund dupa mine
scot nasul de dupa colt si ma rog ca omul mascat sa nu ma vada
transpir
nu ma pot concentra
imi vine in minte un cantec
imi musc buzele asa tare l-as canta
dar omul mascat de dupa colt...
are vesta neagra
as fugi dar mi-e lene
as pleca de acolo dar nu ma lasa picioarele
m-as intinde
as vrea sa nu traiesc putin
o saptamana de moarte clinica
o zi macar
o ora macar
si nu am voie sa tip
nici sa imi fie frig
nu am voie sa nu stau dreapta
nu am voie sa imi rod unghiile
nu am voie sa nu fiu normala
nu am voie sa privesc in gol sau sa vorbesc singura
ei de uita la mine de sus
si eu ma uit cu jumatate de ochi dupa colt
e inca acolo
nu o sa ma impuste
dar nici nu o sa ma lase sa plec
trebuie sa platesc
imi vrea jumatate din carne
vrea sa muste din mine
eu as vrea sa raman in mine
intreaga
neatinsa
fina si brutala
nu mai cred in mine ochii de la etaj
dar pe omul cu arma incep sa il excit
si eu nu mai vreau sa fiu privita de sus si nu mai vreau sa privesc dupa colt
ies de aici o secunda
si revin mai invinsa decat am plecat
P.S.
sheryl crow says:
"and her mama believed
every man could be free
so her mama got high high high"
not my mother
but the mother of the child i will never have
Inscription à :
Articles (Atom)